FENDER BENDER; avoiding life’s collisions

Q: What are some fun things to do during fall?

A: Fall is the time to take advantage of sweater weather. Sweater weather activities are walks in the park, hanging out at a friend’s house because it gets a little too chilly sometimes, and Halloween-orientated activities (Haunted Houses, Pumpkin Patches, Halloween Parties, etc.).

Q: How do I get to school on time?

A: If you can, get a ride from someone with a car.If not figure out your bus/train scheduling ahead of time using a tracker, such as “Transit Stop” for you smartphone users. If, like us, you’re constantly 5-10 minutes late, the obvious fix is leaving your house 5-10 minutes earlier. If possible, take a shower the night before instead of the morning. If this isn’t an ideal lifestyle choice, wake up earlier to compensate for a nice, refreshing morning shower.

Q: What is the appropriate Halloween wear for school?

A: If you’re going to dress up for Halloween, don’t abuse your privilege at school. Halloween after school and Halloween in school are two DIFFERENT scenarios. In school, you should keep the skirts and shorts fingertip length because that’s what the security and administration will tell you. Let’s face it, you aren’t trying to impress anyone from the crack of dawn to 3:30. Let’s keep the masks in the backpacks and the face make up to a minimum. I should still be able to tell who you are. Last thing, absolutely 100% no toy weapons/armor unless you like suspensions, cause I don’t.

Q:How do I manage my love life?

A: First of all, realize that your love life, social life, and school life are three separate things. It’s sometimes difficult to incorporate your love life into the other two. Second, it’s high school so don’t take anything too seriously or let your love life turn into a burden. If this happens, consider reconsidering your setup. When trying to start a love life with someone, don’t be too forward or aggressive. Try to ease into it — being gentle helps and it’s more functional. It’s also a good idea to be energetic and fun, don’t just lay there and be a soulless automaton.

Q:How do I protect myself from Ebola?

A: The way you catch Ebola is from bodily fluids. Protect yourself from fluids by wearing a mask and constantly washing your hands. Avoid sharing drinks when possible as well.

Q:Two of my friends just broke up, and I’m caught in the middle. What do I do?

A: DON’T GET INVOLVED. Let them duke it out and stay neutral. You really don’t want to lose either friend here. Look at Switzerland — they don’t have any problems and they’re caught in the middle of Ukraine and Russia’s dilemma. Plus they still manage to make some good chocolate.

Q: How do I participate in a class I don’t enjoy or where I struggle with the teacher?

A: Answer the obvious comprehension questions in class. This way if you’re having issues with the teacher there is no debate over the validity of your answer. Also, if you’re going to zone out and pay no attention, at least zone out staring at the teacher to mock attention.

Q: What do I do about candy cravings in school now that they don’t sell candy?

A: Ask William Silberg to go off campus and buy you candy.  He’s more than happy to help.

Q: How do I not be a “Freshmen”?

A: LEARN HOW TO WALK THE HALLWAYS! No upperclassman likes that group of underclassmen who believe they have the right to block the entire hallway. Also, mannerisms are crucial so have respect. It’ll get you far in life. Not everything is an argument. If someone gives you advice or an opinion, just listen. They have probably have had many more experiences than you have, even if you’re still convinced you’re the center of the universe.

Q:How should I be heard?
A: The first, most crucial part of being heard is the manner in which you present yourself. Nobody listens to someone with a weak presence; have an assertive tone, good posture and speak loud and clear. The second part is to make sure what you are saying is logical and sensible. Even if your ideas are great, if you can’t communicate them effectively, they will fall on deaf ears. If you have support and have thought through your argument, then have confidence in what you’re saying.
Q: What are some artists to listen to?

A: If you haven’t hopped on the Ab-soul train you should. It’s not all hype, he really is that good, especially if you’re into some of the most clever lyrics in rap. Childish Gambino also makes the list if you haven’t heard his hot 97 freestyle “Grindin’ My Whole Life.” Find it and listen; he reinvents himself. Cage the Elephant is also on the upswing given the recent release of their third album “Melophobia.” They are much more than just “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked.”

Categories: Opinion

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