Humor

What One Dish Kitchen Recipe You Should Make Based On Your Zodiac

By Harper Robbins

PNN Executive Producer

Listen, we’ve been quarantining for a long time. So long, in fact, that my family has requested that I–self appointed PNN food network director–stop baking. Obviously, if I’m ever going to try to reach the level of success of the world’s best and most famous woman (Ina Garten), cutting myself off from the mommy food blogger world was simply not an option. And thus, I discovered One Dish Kitchen, created by my queen Joanie to make sure her son was having nutritious meals while at college. In honor of Joanie’s giving spirit, I have thoughtfully put together a list of recipes you should make based on the only true indicator of personality–your horoscope. Enjoy!

Aries (March 21 to April 19)—Pork Tenderloin for One

Aries, you want what you want, and you want it now. Even with your limited capacity for planning ahead, I have full confidence in your ability to whip up this pork tenderloin and immediately brag about how you’re the best chef out there. Own it, bud. Own it.

Taurus (April 20 to May 20)—Panna Cotta for One

What’s quarantine without a little luxury? Taurus, you’re ready to play the long game to be pampered, which is why this panna cotta is perfect for you. The chill time is worth the wait for this opulent solo dessert.

Gemini (May 21 to June 20)—Baked Catfish for One

Need I say more? Gemini, even you can find the time to bake your namesake in between picking out today’s personality and rushing off to your next project. Hey, two heads are better than one!

Cancer (June 21 to July 22)—French Toast for One

I know this whole global pandemic thing has been upsetting your vibes lately, Cancer, and I’m sure it’s getting to you. But never fear, self care is here! Treat yourself to a strong start to the day with some french toast that’ll bring you back to simpler, cozier times.

Leo (July 23 to August 22)—French Onion Soup for One

Much like the French, Leo, you’re very picky–I mean particular–about all aspects of your life, and that extends to your food. French onion soup gets you that fancy, attention-grabbing feel without too much effort, leaving you plenty of time to bask in the glow of all the people swiping up on the pic of it you posted on your Snapchat story. 

Virgo (August 23-September 22)—Baba Ganoush

Do you know who Virgo was, Virgo? Come back to your “Goddess of wheat and agriculture” roots with this plant-based appetizer that lets you pick all the perfect parts to build your final dish.

Libra (September 23 to October 22)—Avocado Salad with Berries

Listen, we’re not saying you’re just here for the aesthetic, Libra, but this salad does bring plenty of Instagrammable colors. Plus, it’s easy to double–not saying you’re breaking quarantine, just saying we know you love your arm candy.

Scorpio (October 23 to November 21)—Chocolate Mousse for One

Mmmm, chocolate mousse–how fitting for a product of Valentine’s day, Scorpio. Plus, with only two ingredients, even your attention span can stand the measuring until you get the chance to show off your verrryyyy impressive strength by beating it all together.

Sagittarius (November 22 to December 21)—Small Batch Trail Mix Cookies

Even in quarantine, Sagittarius, you’re always exploring, and these cookies will give you plenty of energy for the way. Plus, you can change up the mix-ins based on whatever ingredients are popular in whatever your current favorite corner of the world is. And on the *tiny* off-chance you–gasp–don’t actually know everything there is to know about baking, it’s a pretty simple recipe.

Capricorn (December 22 to January 19)—Overnight Oats

These oats are served cold, Capricorn, just like you. You’ve got too much to do to be messing around in the kitchen in the morning, so try out these overnight oats for your favorite thing–peak efficiency.

Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)—Berry Filled Dutch Baby

Just to get it out of the way, do you prefer “quirky” or “offbeat” when we’re talking about your personality? Either way, these dutch babies certainly fit the label, and compete with your stubbornness, since they’re DEFINITELY not pancakes. Plus, the berries can be conveniently sourced from the nearest farmers market that supports local charities, so your humanitarian heart can rest easy.

Pisces (February 19 to March 20)—Cinnamon Rolls

What could fit your rose-colored worldview better than cinnamon rolls, Pisces? Just like you, these delicious rolls are soft and a little flaky. They also fit your demand for adaptability–try them for breakfast or dessert!

 

Categories: Humor, Opinion

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