Chickens loose in air vents as Payton starts farm on Moody Field

By Ahana Gholkar, Staff Writer

A group of chickens recently escaped from the Moody Field Farm. (Image created with the help of DALL·E by Megha Khemka)

Maybe you’ve heard the random bawking echoing through Payton halls and classrooms. Maybe you’ve smelled the pungent waft of manure oozing through the cafeterias. Through the mass hysteria brewing through the students and staff, many people ask themselves. What is the cause behind this pandemonium and horrible odor?

The answer is the chickens. Yes, chickens! Payton now has a Payton Organization Of Poultry, or P.O.O.P., that has partnered with Moody to bring a new chicken coop on Moody Field. Preparations started last Friday to create a coop and the organization brought chickens over to the school. However somehow, out of sheer luck or someone’s planned revenge against the school the chickens escaped the pens they were kept in on the fourth floor over the weekend. Few chickens began to wander around the school; however most chickens got stuck in the air vent. Due to this incident there are now 34 chickens that are roaming free in the school. Let’s see how certain staff and students are reacting to the demise of Payton.

When asked about the recent circumstances freshman Chicken Little provided this comment, “I’m going absolutely crazy. The clucking is driving me crazy, the smell is driving me crazy, people denying what’s happening is driving me crazy and the administration doing nothing is driving me crazy. This whole situation is just insane.”

Junior Donald Duck responded “At first it was hilarious but as time has passed it’s been really bothersome. I just hate that it always smells like [animal waste] all the time. I come home and my entire family can’t even sit next to me because the stench is so strong.”

“The situation is absolutely out of control. Many of my students can’t concentrate and I’ve seen chickens in almost every space possible. The situation needs to be controlled, students, staff and faculty deserve better conditions.” replied teacher Gyro Gearloose.

P.O.O.P. refused to comment on the situation. Overall students are fed up about the plight that has occurred and are hoping for school life to go back to normal. Many students have taken the situation into their own hands and tried to catch the chickens on their own. Hopefully after a few days the whole fiasco will tide over on its own.

This article is satire.

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