The Paw Print

By Annabel Simon, Staff Writer

They’re everywhere. Across the cafe you’re at. Gracing your TikTok feed. Reading in public libraries. In all their matcha-drinking, feminism-preaching, Labubu-carrying glory lies the so-called “performative male,” the new phrase for men daring to stray away from the mold set for them. They are accused of going out all for show, putting on their entire persona as a gag for attracting women. However, the name-calling and shameless teasing ties back to the deeper issue of who our gender roles allow us to be in the modern day and age, and what type of interests and lifestyles we are allowed to explore according to them.

The first traces of the “performative male” accusations can be tracked back to TikTok posts such as “performative male competitions,” where men describe women with words such as “powerful” or “inspiring”. I know, the horror. Men pursuing interests that might be perceived as feminine have been excused by the fact that said men must only be doing this to pursue women. After all, what man actually appreciates cinema or enjoys the taste of matcha? Those things are for girls! Putting men into these boxes of what they can or cannot enjoy will and does circle right back to doing the same to women. Pushing away men’s interests in things that are not associated with traditional masculinity reinforces harmful gender stereotypes for both men and women. 

No matter how appealing it might sound (I mean, who doesn’t want endless privilege for just being born with certain chromosomes!), the patriarchy doesn’t actually suit anyone conforming to it. For women, the effects are clearer. One out of every five women in America report being sexually abused. Domestic abuse is more common for us, as roughly 76% of people killed by their intimate partners are women, not to mention girls are paid 81 cents for every dollar the average man makes. I am in no way shape or form denying or excusing any of the oppression faced by my gender on a daily basis. However, the patriarchy is not exactly a happy place for men either. According to Priory Group Health, 40% of men refuse to discuss their mental health, with a therapist or otherwise, often citing reasons such as stigma and embarrassment as their main reasons. Men who are sexually abused on average wait 10 to 15 years to disclose it to anyone. Taking all of this into consideration, it is not difficult to observe how the patriarchal mindset, adapted by so many in passing, seems so determined in pushing away and making fun of performative men.

After all, don’t performative men represent everything society requires men not to be? If they all collectively dropped their personas, respected women and were even (shudder) vulnerable? Women themselves who unknowingly adhere to the patriarchy feed into this hatred. With the rise of phrases such as “trad wife” and accepting your “divine feminine,” 2026 seems to be reselling us traditional gender stereotypes in new repackaged fonts, with the scariest part being that most of us are buying into it. With women returning back to society’s expectations of them, it makes sense that they expect men to do the same, and sneer at those who do not.

In any case, I would much rather have an abundance of performative men who respect me as a human being, over a stereotypical “macho man” who despairs at the thought of all things weak and sensitive. Even if it is all for show to attract women, is men respecting women really a bad thing, no matter their intentions? Or would it truly be better for men to go back to treating women like crap just to conform, requiring women to lose respect, along with their independence and knowledge of their worth and men to return to being restrained and emotionless?